Thursday, August 9, 2012

Where's the Male "Love My Curves" Movement?

So, like 50 billion other ladies out there, I'm a little sensitive about my weight/physical appearance.  And, apparently, that's not okay.

In accordance with the latest movement, I'm supposed to love and embrace my curves.  "Women are meant to be curvy."  "Women should be able to eat what they want and be happy with themselves instead of being thin and miserable."  "BIG IS BEAUTIFUL."

And while I could sit here and discuss my own views of this movement, what interests me more is the lack of a corresponding movement in the male community.

Why is no one telling him HIS curves are beautiful? Source.

Why are men not devoting blogs, and websites, and magazines to being curvy?  Why are big, voluptuous triple  F boobs supposed to be a turn on on a big girl, but D cups on a big guy a turn off ?  Why is it that a girl who eats whatever she wants--and looks as if she does--should be considered sexy and encouraged to act proud of herself, but a man who replicates this feat is not offered the same option?  No one is going to compliment him on his bravery in downing three appetizers, a giant entree, a gallon of booze, and two desserts in public . . . except maybe Mr. Grove.


Women are, generally, taught to not strive for the fashion model aesthetic, the Barbie aesthetic (that'd be the blond, tan, GIANTFAKETITS aesthetic, in case you weren't sure), or the celebrity aesthetic.  However, I think we can all, male and female alike, agree that the normal swimsuit model (i.e. a naturally stacked one with an hourglass figure on her that would make you want to eat a page out of a J.C. Penney Catalog) wouldn't be such a bad thing to strive for.  Hell, I wouldn't mind looking like that.

I DEFINITELY wouldn't mind access to the stocked bar. Source.

Or a fitness model . . . with boobs.  Natural boobs.

I've never really felt fake boobs.  I mean, I've hugged people who have them, but I've never FELT them.  If you've got fake boobs, live in the DFW metroplex, and are willing to let me satisfy my weird-ass curiosity, the "Contact" button is up and to the right.

Anywho, women are constantly told we SHOULDN'T aspire to Barbie, super skinny model, or random skinny female celebrity-ness.  But when do we tell men, "you shouldn't aspire to Brad Pitt, Jake Gyllenhall, or Ryan Gosling"?  Yes, I know those are all actors.  I don't actually know the names of the random guys who pose for the bodice-ripping romances these days.  Sure as hell ain't Fabio anymore.  I mean, dude has a jaw like a cinder block.  Blech.

"Hello, police?  Fabio is crouched on my lawn and just STARING at me."Source.

Women have started to DEMAND that men accept them as they are, muffin tops and all (I'm speaking as the owner of quite an impressive muffin top, so resist the urge to get all pissy about that statement), but I don't see any men demanding "love me, love my spare tire." We've criticized them for decades about how their objectification has affected us, but I'm pretty sure if men started a "Love my rolls" campaign, they'd either be laughed off the internet or attacked for creating a "parody" of the love my curves movement.

Though I do love me some rolls . . .Source.

Maybe we all assume that guys aren't as "sensitive" about their weight and appearance as women are.  And maybe I have a weird group of friends/accquaintances, but I know just as many men who are concerned about their weight and physical appearance as females.  Maybe they don't care AS much, but they still care.  (Not that they're supposed to.  How can you be an ubermensch i f you're worried that your jeans aren't going to fit at the end of the day?  I'LL BET RASKOLNIKOV NEVER WOULD HAVE WORRIED IF HIS MURDER CLOTHES WERE GOING TO FIT HIS GUT.)

Don't give me that look, Fyodor.  You're dead and can't say SHIT.

The most positive spin I've ever seen about bigger guys is the teddy-bear phenomenon (which probably equates to the Bear phenomenon in the gay community), but even that has its limits.  The Joker up there has much "more to love" than the average teddy bear.

Think about it.  We sing the praises of women like Melissa McCarthy and Rebel Wilson for staying true to themselves and we try not to judge when America Ferrara, Jennifer Hudson, and Jordin Sparks slim down (as long as they don't get TOO skinny).  Yet Subway's Jared was never told that he should learn to love himself the way he was, even when he started to regain a few extra pounds several years into his tenure as Subway spokesman.

My husband suggested the idea that while women don't really want (or shouldn't want) to be the "idealizations" they see in movies, the fashion world, and *snicker* video games--idealizations generally created by men, men DO aspire to being strong and abs-alicious--an idealization that seems to be created by both men and women.  After all, it's one thing to feel pressure from society to look a certain way, but it's another thing to feel it from yourself, right?


Like I said before, I have my own opinions and views (some of them rather conflicted) on the female "love your curves" phenomenon, but that's not what this is about today.  This is about yet another seemingly double standard.  Or maybe I'm seeing something that isn't really there.  Considering Monday's post was spent spewing epiphanies about being a female blogger, I doubt I have any male readers left to weigh in on this.
(I may not have ANY readers left)  So for the few of you who are still here or stopped by for a pity read, feel free to let loose in the comments section.


  1. I think all women struggle with some aspect of feeling comfortable in their own skins. (I struggle with non-existent boobs and too-existent thighs.) But I think the population of men dissatisfied with their bodies is smaller. I also don't think it is as socially acceptable for men to be dissatisfied with how they look, so perhaps they struggle in silence like women did for many years. All people have a natural shape that differs from each other. I think our goal should be to find what that shape is for us and to be the healthiest we can within the confines nature has given us. For me that means never having big boobs unless I'm pregnant or nursing and wearing lots of skirts! ;-) But still striving to eat healthful and to exercise moderately (knowing the exercise won't change the shape of my body.)

    1. I totally agree with being as healthy as we can "within the confines nature has given us." That's part of where I get conflicted with the Love My Curves movement, because it's too easy to use it as an excuse to BE very unhealthy. But if men are sensitive about their "curves," it just seems unfair for them to not be all "LOVE MY CURVES, BITCHES" like ladies are. Next thing you know, we'll be making more $ than them and they'll be staging protests!

  2. Somewhere between the so-thin-I-can-count-your-ribs-as-I-look-at-this-Victoria's-secret-catalog supermodel aesthetic and the love-your-curves-big-is-beautiful-here-have-another-doughnut rhetoric, I think it can be hard to stay clear about what the healthy, realistic mid-point really is. But ever notice how gorgeous a lot of "plus-sized" models are? Often they're about a size 12, either hippy or bosomy, but otherwise kinda svelte and toned. They're my go-to image of a (generalized--because as you pointed out, individual bodies differ) healthy middle ground. Until today though, I never really thought about what the equivalent middle-ground image would be for guys, and, off the top of my head, I've got nothing.

    1. Feel free to ask Terry and--if you can get a serious reply out of him--post it! (I imagine most males will be like "seriously? Why don't I just go shoe shopping while I'm at it.)

  3. I see your point, though I wouldn't recommend the scary-ass clown dude be proud of his curves; I worry he might actually have some serious health risks.

    When I think of attractive men who do not belong to that ridiculous and unattainable-for-most-men Joe Mangianello group, I think of Jason Segel and Seth Rogen. They would be considered fat by Ken-doll standards, but in reality they are fabulous just the way they are.