Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Updates (Spoiler: I am a DOWNER of a Scrooge Right Now)

Yeah, my once a week posting goal is loooooooong gone.  Then again, so is my "I wanna be blog-famous!" goal, so it's all good. Instead of bemoaning  this and promising that, I'm just going to give an update:

If you read the previous post and want to know the results, Seth was found to be "delayed" in a few areas and we're now having people come to our home to make me feel inept . . . more inept.  Kid doesn't talk, kid has social issues, and Kid. Doesn't. CHEW. He is also stubborn as hell, and I don't mean in the "all toddlers are stubborn" way; I mean he is inordinately obstinate.

And having him neutered is not an option. source

Example: To help him learn how to chew, we're working with "crunchy" foods, some of which I'm supposed to place directly between his top and bottom molars, so he'll at least initially crunch down on them and get the gist. This worked the first few times, and there was much rejoicing. However, on about the 5th or 6th try, after I had put the goldfish cracker between his molars, he bit down enough to just hold it; the minute I got my fingers out of his mouth, he stuck his own finger in there and moved the cracker out from prime chewing territory so he could suck on it and then potentially choke on a little orange fish while attempting to swallow it way before it was swallowable.

In other news, I'm going back to teaching next semester.  It's just one class, but it's still a big deal. Online teaching isn't my forte and I spend unholy amounts of time working on freelance stuff.  Plus I miss being in the classroom . . . and getting the hell out of the house.

After a while, you no longer feel pain source

We got some family pictures done that literally made me cry, and not in a good way.  I get that I'm overweight, but when you look at photos and they make you look WORSE than what you see when you look in the mirror? No.  Just, no.  Fortunately, we're now getting other ones taken by my favorite photog--who just happens to actually know what the fuck she's doing.  My self-esteem, however, is still off weeping in a corner somewhere.

My Christmas spirit is pretty close to nil.  Oh, I painted my toenail red and green to put up a good front at the Little Gym and I've bought a few presents, but I'd rather clean the toilet than deck the halls. (And no, that's not a request for toilets to clean, but thanks for your generosity.) I mean, we have an old guy with a bushy white beard in our neighborhood who is now wearing a santa hat while walking his dogs, and I didn't even crack a smile the first time I saw him.  I just seriously do not give a shit.  Hopefully this apathy will not remain when Seth is old enough to care about the spectacle. Until then, we'll just be that grinchy house on the block without any tacky shit on the lawn, or plastic clings in the window.  Honestly?  I don't even have the desire to go get a tree.  Last year was Seth's first Christmas and I was ALL about it.  This year has been a bit of a doozy in the latter half and I'm just happy at some points to have survived--why bring a tree into such a situation?

Especially as it will inevitably turn vengeful and
murder us in our sleep

I did get a new camera lens "for Christmas" that I have yet to even put on the camera.  And no, I'm not that "I MUST WAIT UNTIL THE ACTUAL DAY OR ALL WILL BE LOST" type of present-opener.  So, I have a lens that sounds awesome . . . and I sure hope it is whenever I get around to actually trying it out.

Yup, that's pretty much it. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go finish ruining my child, sending myself esteem into further hysterics, wallowing in self-pity, and stealing all the Christmas shit in Whoville.

1 comment:

  1. I hope you recover the ability to smile at neighborhood-Santa-guy soon. Until then, I wanted you to know that you can still make others chuckle. The first photo and captions in this post nearly made me snort latte onto my work keyboard.