Posts are going to start getting shorter.
I know, try not to cry. Who doesn't love a gigantic block of text staring them in the face?
Basically, I'm starting to use my writing on the blog everyday as a sort of crutch. Yesterday evening, I totally had time to work on my book, and I totally did not. I'd already written a blog post, so at least I'd written, right?
Oh you silly, silly girl. Thinking you can still play these games with me. I know your patterns--I've had almost thirty years to learn them--and I'm not going to let you do it this time.
I'm actually developing a fear of writing, of working on my story (even though the damn thing is always niggling in the back of my mind, so much so that I've had to start having a notebook within reach everywhere I am). It's a combination of worrying that I'll be writing and nothing will work and it will be a big FAIL aaaaand pouring everything I have into the book and then it ending up as a big FAIL--i.e. no one will want to read it.
And I guess that's what it comes down to; I want to write things people want to read--that people will enjoy reading. Not everyone, of course. There's a reason many, many genres exist instead of just one. The book I'm writing would not be one my husband would enjoy, and that's okay--he's not my target audience. Neither are my parents. One of my friends who enjoys supernatural romance? I don't think it will be her cup of tea stylistically. Again, all okay. But if those who ARE my target audience don't like it? Don't get enjoyment out of it? Don't think "This is a great book to take to the beach/pool/other place of relaxation or recreation"? I will be heart broken. I want to be able to provide other people with the enjoyment my favorite authors have provided me.
Yes, making money off of it and getting some recognition would be nice too, but those aren't primary goals. And trust me, I did some serious soul-searching to make sure that was the case--because if that's all this was about, I would have stopped.
But I'm not stopping. In fact, I'm prioritizing, starting with not putting so much in to every blog post. If I come across a situation or topic that I'm easily passionate about, I'm certainly not going to abridge it, but for all the other daily posts, I'm going to save some of that creative energy and put it where it belongs.