Thursday, May 2, 2013

"Mommy-blogger" is not an insult, "Mommy-blogger" is not an insult, "Mommy-blogger is not an insult.

When I first started out trying the blogger thing, I had one primary goal:

I will not be a mommy blogger.

Yes, there are great mommy bloggers out there (I read and love reading several of them), but they make up only a single grain of sand in an ever-growing Sahara of suck.  I'd bet dollars to donuts that mommy blogs make up a majority of blogs on the web now (maybe not a vast, landslide majority, but a majority nonetheless), and if there's one thing English grad school taught me, it is to avoid wading into the most popular pools at all costs: all the cool people have already come and gone, and all that's left is a bunch of wannabes and an unholy amount of urine.  (Those may not have been the EXACT words my professors used during the "let's be real here" talks, but close enough.)

And does the world really need another mommy blogger? NO.

Besides, even though I enjoyed reading my selected few, I had a pretty bad opinion of mommy bloggers in general.

Couldn't find anything else to write about, eh ladies?  I guess that's what happens when you make your kids your whole damn life.

Somewhere the universe is smiling and shaking its head, murmuring "I love it when your ignorance eventually leads to shameful, shameful hypocrisy."

Because while my son is not my "whole damn life," he and all that his existence entails really do make up most of it . . . which means a lot of the things I think about writing involve being a mom.

Some of the typical (but still good) advice given to writers is "write what you know."  I think for bloggers it should also include, "and what you're experiencing now."  I KNOW going to grad school, but aside from an occasional reference (see the piss-filled pool metaphor above), I have no desire to write about that.  What I'm experiencing right now, all the fresh and still stinging lessons, insights, etc.?  I totally want to write about them.  But right now (and for pretty much the foreseeable future), I'm going to be experiencing being a mom . . . and a wife, and a dog owner, and a writer, and even occasionally a blogger who actually clicks on the publish button instead of adding yet ANOTHER draft to the digital pile.

But the biggest one of those--especially in the before-I-can-send-him-to-school-and-then-have-a-mimosa years--is being a mom.

Is this really going to change anything around here? Nope.  I threw the whole "theme" idea out the window a while ago.  But I do think I need to get the fuck over this self-imposed mommy-blogger stigma.  I can't tell you how many times I've thought "I could write up a post about that" and not done it because it had to do with my kid.  Hell, I can't tell you how many times I haven't posted things because I was like, "nobody will want to read that."

But let us not delve into self-pity land; it is a silly place.

Point is, I'm going to hit publish on this, and not care that it's a mommy-blogger post (or a bastardized mommy-blogger/writing post, but progress is progress so just keep your mouth shut).

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