I've started like three different posts, nice, deep posts, but I haven't finished any of them, BECAUSE WHO IN THE HELL WANTS TO READ THAT?
Also, every time I start to work on one of them I get all emotional and upset because they're about pretty tough subjects (for me, not necessarily for anyone else), and then I start crying and my husband comes to see what's going on, and the dog comes to see what's going on, and then--if he's awake--the toddler comes to see what's going on and while the concern very sweet, it's also highly embarrassing and I'd rather not even TRY to write on those when anyone else is in the house and/or awake, but I can't really night-owl it like I want/used to because I have responsibilities and I'm also old and tired, and besides, if I'm going to stay up late it's going to be for working on my fiction and not on my blog, because THAT is a priority . . . and yet here I am writing a post instead of fiction.
Well, fuck-a-doodle-doo, what's a writer to do?
I could end this post and go work on one of my four WIPs, but I think I'll just blather on a bit more instead. I'm not going to push this post on social media, so I can pretty much do whatever I want, comforted by the knowledge that only about 12 of you will read this. Ahhhhhh, it's like a nice warm blanket of quasi-anonymity.
So, like I said, I have four things I'm currently working on. I read all the time about people having one WIP that they're focusing on and pouring everything into, but while I'm pretty happy in a routine, I still thrive on variety. I like to eat dinner around the same time every day, but I sure as hell don't want to eat the same thing every day, you know? Anywho, four things:
1) THE NOVEL. This story is the reason I finally broke down and admitted that I needed a physical (i.e. not technological) means of organizing--it led to me purchasing that big-ass bulletin board. This story started out as a short-story idea. You see, I was working on a couple rather involved projects and realized that I really wanted to have a completed piece. That wasn't going to happen anytime soon with what I was working on at the moment, so I popped open my ideas file, found one that would work as a short piece, and set to work planning it out. Then, in the middle of planning, I had an epiphany . . . and shot that whole "short" descriptor all to shit. Trying not to panic (as my dream of a completed piece threatened to flutter away), I told myself that I couldn't know if my length-increasing epiphany would actually work unless I planned it all the way out. Aaaaaand I did. Aaaaaaand it's taking up about half of that bulletin board. Aaaaaaand the planning is all done and it's time to write.
2) THE PARANORMAL ROMANCE. This is actually the first piece I started seriously working on. I'd been reading a bunch of books in the genre and realized that I could do that. I was embarrassed at first; I had a hard enough time admitting I liked reading those things, but writing one? That was even worse. To this day, that story's file is named "Uuuuuuuuugh," but I have no intention of changing it because I like the reminder it has become. Basically, don't ever be ashamed of what you like to read and what you like to write. This poor story, however, has dropped to last place on the priority list. It's still in me, and whenever I have ideas about it I add them to the file, but that puppy ain't gonna get finished any time soon.
3) THE DARK EROTICA NOVEL. Oh dear lord, this is the one that I'd never want my mother to read (or almost any other member of my family). I mean, the paranormal romance will be bad enough because of the requisite sex scenes that romance pretty much requires--scenes I am NOT complaining about--but this one is going to have more of a . . . disturbing tone to it. I like the idea of twisted people finding each other and finally being able to not have to hide who they are. As long as "deviant" sexuality isn't harming anyone, I see no reason why it should be demonized, which some other books in the genre have seen fit to do. I've probably written more on this one than any other, but I have to be in a particular frame of mind to effectively add to it.
4) THE SHORT STORY. So I still want to have something (pretty much anything at this point) finished--like edited and polished finished, not just written finished. I kind of gave up on that in deference to the novel, but the other day I was chatting with a friend of mine who is also a writer and I came up with an idea about which we simultaneously said "that would make a great story." At first I was just going to let her take the idea and run with it, but when I realized I could make a short story out of it (an erotic horror-ish themed one, because OF COURSE), I said we should each write a story using the idea. We have pretty different styles and I thought it would be really interesting to see we could come up with separately. I haven't given it the writing attention I'd like to for various reasons, but my brain is plotting about it on the regular.
So that's what I'm "working" on. To be honest, I've been kind of on a break. I've realized that sometimes, especially if life has devolved into some form (or multiple forms) of chaos, I need to take a breather. It goes against what a lot of people recommend --setting a schedule, writing regularly no matter what, etc.--but it works for me and doesn't make me hate/resent having to write, which really kills my ability TO write. I'm not saying I just wait for the muse to strike, but if circumstances are turning writing into a chore--or something worse--I choose to cut myself some slack, which is actually a pretty big mark of progress for me.
Crazy right? Sometimes allowing yourself to write makes all the difference and other times allowing yourself not to write does the same thing.